Parts
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
What we have theses days is a evil lurking in me....I m so tired of protecting all I need help and the help I need is gonna come from the outside. T's and Eric especially cause he has been so supportive since I got home...I love him so much I can't imagine life with out him.. I am so tired and have to go to work. It's only one shift. I feel a little better D wrote to me I hope we can continue to communicate. Well off to work MIR call me I know u are busy but I miss u much...all of Jen's parts
scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 2:13 PM
weekend
Monday, July 23, 2007
Good morning..I will be taken child number three to the bus stop in a few minutes just wasnted to tell ya all about the weekend and this feeling I have or this part that I have its real evil and won't leave me alone. It's very frustarating because again the body memories are terrible. i see pdoc at 9 ;30 after work...I like work. But I am so tire
scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 7:51 AM
HI it's me
Thursday, July 19, 2007
I just want to say to Ella you were very brave today.....you did not have to talk to N and you did...I hope you are inside now safe. I can not figure out your age but I am guessing very young. Charlotte is helping a lot with her right now I need to work on the buddy system. I also need to some how make this year different then last year. we r going to the pool less making it easier for parts that don't feel safe. We really just want to be normal...what ever normal is these days.. N is so aware of us. She and M knows us so well. even with new part coming up. These days sometimes fell like the end of time...Like dying is gonna happen some day and I will totally not be ready for it. Someone will just jump out and well.............................Jen
scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 7:13 PM
Therapy
Friday, July 13, 2007
Body feels like its been run over by a truck.. Body memories suck!!!!
Body memory is the belief that the body itself is capable of storing memories, as opposed to only the brain. This is used to explain having memories for events where the brain was not in a position to store memories and is sometimes a catalyst for repressed memories recovery. These memories are often characterised with phantom pain in a part or parts of the body — the body appearing to remember the past trauma.
so here I am trying to take care of the kids and feeling like shit....It is probably from therapy today. However we did not talk about much maybe I'll paint later to disperse some of this pain.. Words are not working right now
scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 3:28 PM
movies...childhood
Thursday, July 12, 2007
hey went to see shrek 3 it was good I took 2 3 4 and 5 to see it. ! went and saw a movie with her friends she is growing up so fast. At least she has a normal childhood....Sometimes that messes with our head and people get upset. but at least i get to watch how a real kid gets to see the world.
I am not going to start crying because I want to be okay so I am going to go right now.. mir lov ya . you are always on my mind ......
scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 4:57 PM
update rants and raves
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
ok well I have not blogged in a few days...I really want to say to dawn I really appreciate your comments. I hope maybe we can just blog back and forth about our lives. But you will let me know when u are ready.................
Hey Mir I miss ya so much. But I love that you post comments I love to read them and I can tell you how much I miss you.....You have been so helpful since I have been home. I can't imagine my life without you....
ok so I started reading these books that my 12 year old daughter has to read for school. They are great books but a little controversial. I am now in the middle of the second book and hope to be done it by tomorrow.
Therapy assignment I can't do it anymore...it throws me in to flashback.. I have to do it or there could be some terrible consequences. Leah Raven Zoe Elie and Ella along with Charlotte are to work on this together but it is hard....so off to flashback land...I want to feel better my stomach hurts a lot.
scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 5:57 PM