A fun place to be! Where there are many, some big some small but all with distinct personalities!

****WELCOME TO DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER HELL*****

up and down days

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


today was ok....I guess last nite was horrid. Therapy late makes my life harder. I do not have time to process it. I have never called dr.r right after a session but last nite I felt very close to wanting to go away. But my kiddos and husband keep me here. i am so depressed. i do not understand . I have everything I want except..........what I need. Unconditional love from a parent.
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Gatekeepers4@ 3:05 PM   0 comments

DAWN

Monday, November 26, 2007


PUMPKINHEAD I MISS YOU SO MUCH
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Gatekeepers4@ 1:58 PM   0 comments

rants and ramblings by jen


Depression, no one cares ...does anyone hear me. Do you care I am having a reaction? I guess not. I feel very lonely , sad, depressed, hopeless and helpless. A lot of it has to do with M. She has not called me back after calling her a few times. Dr. R says we have to go through this crap that we are heading in the right direction. That our mind is trying to be whole.. Our mind will never be whole . we are so fractured split it is horrible. It feels really bad. I am so lucky to have the friends I do including my husband. Life will go one ................maybe
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Gatekeepers4@ 1:48 PM   0 comments

The day before

Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Every year at this time my system goes absolutely crazy. I am really scared because its the beginning of the downward spiral. This year is gonna be different. I am gonna find out what the heck is going on. We have been meeting every day trying to figure out the reason but we can't. Dr. R really freaked us out by mentioning a word that was very triggering and still is. I can't get it out of my head now. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Happy thanksgiving to all here is a little special gift to all my little parts inside...........
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Gatekeepers4@ 1:42 PM   0 comments

check this out

Saturday, November 17, 2007

http://my.care2.com/tinky2007
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Gatekeepers4@ 7:29 PM   0 comments

Some one save these children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The 11th commandment........could be triggering

Spoiler.....................triggering
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spoiler.....................could be triggering
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spoiler.....................triggering
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Gatekeepers4@ 7:07 PM   0 comments

Shit

Friday, November 16, 2007

Tired today. Had therapy last night. Am having a problem with parts wanting to die. And also ED.I do not want to eat then I want to eat....The mom makes it so bad she cuts me down all the time.....that size is not gonna fit u....your grandmother said I hope your daughters don't get as big as their mother. We'll screw you all. I want to just cry I feel fat already. I know I will never be thin but damn I feel like I am hugh.
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Gatekeepers4@ 10:51 AM   0 comments

Kendra's anger

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I am so angry can u tell?
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Gatekeepers4@ 2:22 PM   2 comments

betrayed


my life feels like it is over....I feel alll alone. I have my family.....but my family of origin I have to start walking away. I do not know if I can do IT. I feel so terrible right now. I am going to go slowly. As I sit here tears run down my face. I love them so much . I want a mom who is nuterin, who cares more about me then about what people will think. Last...I feel so alienated from everyone else. Do not know what to do.............a sad sad sad jenni
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Gatekeepers4@ 2:11 PM   0 comments

a book about abuse for kids to understand AWESOME

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Book...
Angie the Ant & the Bumblebee Tree

The Story of Angie the Ant
Angie the Ant had always dreamed of freedom. She was born in captivity, but she knew that one day, she would find a way out. All her life, she had heard about the Bumblebee Tree. How she longed to live in the peaceful realm of Antamar, which lay just beyond the tree's mighty trunk . Meet the Characters

Thus begins the first adventure of Angie the Ant. Her desire to free her people turns into a brave quest to save the Bumblebee Tree from the evil Queen Sadina, ruler of the Fleavils.

Join Angie and her newfound friends, Frankie the Blue Heron and Prince Bartlebee, as they embark on the adventure of a lifetime. Together, they work to save the day in a classic story of good versus evil.


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Gatekeepers4@ 7:21 AM   0 comments

Luca I found the song you were named after. I am so sorry



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Gatekeepers4@ 7:04 AM   0 comments

HOPE FOR A DAY THAT FEELS HOPELESS

Tuesday, November 13, 2007


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Gatekeepers4@ 5:56 PM   0 comments

M this is for you

UNFUNCTIONAL

adjective
not related to or suitable for everyday needs or activities


DYSFUNCTIONAL

dys·func·tional –noun
1.Medicine/Medical. malfunctioning, as of an organ or structure of the body.
2.any malfunctioning part or element: the dysfunctions of the country's economy.
3.Sociology. a consequence of a social practice or behavior pattern that undermines the stability of a social system.

FUNCTIONAL


func·tion·a
l –adjective
1.of or pertaining to a function or functions: functional difficulties in the administration.
2.capable of operating or functioning: When will the ventilating system be functional again?
3.having or serving a utilitarian purpose; capable of serving the purpose for which it was designed: functional architecture; a chair that is functional as well as decorative.
4.Also, func·tion·al·is·tic. (of a building or furnishing) constructed or made according to the principles of functionalism or primarily as a direct fulfillment of a material need.
5.Medicine/Medical. without a known organic cause or structural change: a functional disorder. Compare organic (def. 5).
6.pertaining to an algebraic operation: a functional symbol.
7.Linguistics. (of linguistic analysis, language teaching, etc.) concerned with the communicative role of language rather than, in addition to, or as the framework for its formal structure.
–noun
8.Mathematics. a function that has a domain whose elements are functions, sets, or the like, and that assumes numerical values.










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Gatekeepers4@ 3:54 PM   0 comments

to die or not to die that is the question?


DO you ever fell like you just need to go away. That you are worthless. That you deserve nothing. Well that's the way I feel now. i feel like things are happening out of my awareness. I am trying soooooooo hard to do the therapy thing work take care of my family and house. I miss Mirium she is away still but she'll be home soon. I also miss Dawn especially around the Holidays. I hope maybe we will be able to talk soon. I really am blessed to have Jess as a friend and Suzanne. they are keeping me sane right now as I feel unstable and insane.
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Gatekeepers4@ 3:44 PM   0 comments

Monday, November 05, 2007


Having major abandonment issues and I do not know y? Driving my therapists crazy. Feeling a little crazy myself. Feeling like i have been switching away. Which when we feel like this we usually switch a lot. Since Thursday's therapy session we have been messed up...trying to fight the power. IT does not work.....crying on the phone with M
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Gatekeepers4@ 2:52 PM   2 comments

Halloween is over

Thursday, November 01, 2007


Hi Jess if ya ever look here!!!!!!!!!

So Halloween is over...its time to go to bed. NO way!!!!! So tired do not sleep well have nightmares and body memories, flashbacks and terrible intrusive thoughts. However Halloween was a little better M called and stayed on the phone with me till kids got back. I was afraid to be a lone and I did not have to be. Worked on collages and am in the middle of a healthy We are ok one..........This has been very hard to do. M has been great she needed that vacation. I am starting to learn more and more about myself. Although it is very hard it has been extremely helpful. Inside team is working hard...Teamwork!!!!!!!!!1
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About Us: There are lots of us It gets very crazy in our castle ...There is never a dull moment!

Intresting Things: We like to buy Shoes and purses but hubby doesn't like it ..heheheh

Mood: changes moment to moment

Favourite Colour : Purple...I like yellow..no i like blue..no wait pink..NO wait BLACK

Perhaps the best way to prevent child sexual abuse is to have open communication with your children STOP CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE!!!