waiting...waiting...waiting................Monday, February 20, 2006Anxiety..waiting is getting to be a pain..It is so hard to stay safe...but I do not have a clue of what else to do. I am afraid when I get to the top of the list I will CHICKEN OUT. waitingFriday, February 17, 2006waiting ...the longer I wait the harder it gets to be ...SAFE...I mean I know that safety is always an issue...But the battle continues to be fought who is going to win I don't know...waiting ..9th STILL....venting my anger that they do not have more beds...knowing it can not go on forever...so i keep busy stay with the kids so safety is a bit better. I know I will get there an will want to dome home. i miss pumpkinhead a lot I miss her so much she will probably be back and I will probablyy go in...HowIronic.......I hope she is okay she was pretty pissed yesterday... okay enough for now CHAR babiesTuesday, February 14, 2006
its overMonday, February 13, 200618 years of enslavement...... today it ends rantingFriday, February 10, 2006Saw M my T today...it was okay we talked about some hard shit. We talked about really needing to be in sp. I guess I am definitly going when my number comes up. I hope everyone will be okay.. I just wanna cry . Nothing feels safe right now. my whole system was triggered by something she says and now the littles are afraid of her. What else is new. WE atleast some of us older ones knopw she did not mean to trigger us. nothingnessThursday, February 09, 2006losing ur license sucks....grrrrrrrrr especially when i need him more than he knows....i don't wanna go without him but maybe I will have to ..*tears* I am afraid to leave the kids I am afraid to leave him...but I know i need to go for my safety..things are increasing ly getting worse..I know he looks at me and sees failure..I am a failure as a mom as a wife...I try though..I love him more and more..I hope he knows that..But what kind of wife thinks about death? or cuts their body up like vegatables.......someone who is psycho...or maybe a bit desperate...or who has been so badly hurt they don't know what to do with the hurt...hopefully he knows he is loved........ Monday, February 06, 2006
whatever...the one who won't be missedFriday, February 03, 2006hi its me having a hard time wanna ...ok well thats not a option according to N or M..Well guess what it is a option for me I hate being inside and I hate being outside.No one will miss me charlotte and jen and hannah could take over But no one would miss me.......... |
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