Headache headache headache...but y is it so bad today........some of us know...others of us try to forget. We cancelled our appointmeent with Dr. R tonite. I feel horrid. Have to go to work but really do not want to . just finished making dinner for kids. Since I will be at work. I want to hurt myself today so work is probably the best place for me.I know it is only memories I see but I forget sometimes. Life seems to be a dual reality...The past and the present. And going back and forth from it. Today has been hardere to get thru....the past keeps robbing the present. I want to Die and it be over but again that is just some stupid mind control tactic. I do not have to die because of the day I may feel like it but I do not ......SO today I am going to fight against the past and try to remain in the future....no matter what the pain is like. Again when I stay in the present my body wants to stay in the past ( body memories)jen 3 and 4 scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 2:07 PM
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