I want something more than anything....a mom who cares and understands loves unconditional. I want that I think. That is what I am to my kids. I love them very much. More than anything. But there is a void that I try to fill with shit. My insiders want a mom more than me. I want to stop their hurt, they want to stop their hurt. For some I am not good enough to replace a mom for others I am. I think about this and my Therapists come to mind.....Becca wants N to be here mom. But there are parts that will not allow her to express that. there are others too. This brings me to wanting to hurt on the outside as much as the inside. I hurt so much. My body hurts from memories but I think right now Becca Bethany are going thru terrible things and they just want a mom to hold them and tell them that life is going to be okay. Because right now it feels very hard and terible, it makes it hard to be a mom to nurture your children when thats what you need. They get mad at N and M who can't be their mom.OK so we as a system admit to wanting N and M to be our MOM.............can anyone help??????????????? scribbled Gatekeepers4@ 5:26 PM
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