BROKENNESSSaturday, June 19, 2004ok all this stuff together has really bothered me ..I sit here and think..why..Brittnay pretending to die...a man in Saudia arabia being beheaded...tortured my whole body aches and I feel so alone..there are people I thought I could trust but feel right now I can not..i have no where to go..Well maybe that was the idea..Maybe that was the plan..But what ever it is just me a lone feeling all these things pretending to be ok all the time and in reality there are times I am ok....I watched the Nobody's Fool video By evanescence and It is so me..She is trying to be happy and then smashes the window!!! HELLO that is so us...MOODY???????...no just collective but unconnected. So I sit here trying to be ok and to stay grounded to get these feelings away: as far away as possible.... who knows maybe one day I'll be able to fix these relationships but right now I feel betrayed and that I can't trust anyone!!!!!!!!! And that takes me to a place of being alone again by myself where I have always been where I should have stayed where it hurts less...At least the pain gets distributed..Man I feel like SHIT RIGHT NOW |
A fun place to be! Where there are many, some big some small but all with distinct personalities!
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